Thursday the 8th I had an appointment at the Children's Hospital Breastfeeding Clinic. I thought we were going in for a simple appointment about the pain I was still experiencing while breastfeeding. They put Keaton on the scale and things quickly took a turn for the worst. The 10 pound baby I had been painfully nursing every two hours weighed in at 8 pounds 1 ounce on their scale. At her 1 week pediatrician appointment, she had weighed 9 pounds 2 ounces. After nursing her and weighing her, it was determined she was only getting an ounce to an ounce and a half at each feeding. A baby at her age should be getting approximately 3-4 ounces at each feeding. The doctor at the clinic was wonderful and very helpful-the latching issues were fixed very quickly. However, I had a complete meltdown. I felt horrible that I had not noticed that Keaton had lost so much weight. I was put on a very strict feeding schedule to increase my milk supply and get Keaton's weight up. The plan included supplementing her with formula. I left the clinic and sat in my car crying for quite a while. I then went out and bought formula and went home to start our new schedule.
The following week, we stayed strictly on the schedule. Keaton did not respond well to the formula, spit up a lot, and was very gassy. I cannot even begin to explain the guilt and responsibility I felt. We had our one month pediatrician appointment on Monday the 12th. We weighed Keaton on the same scale she had been on September 16th and she weighed in at 9 pounds 15 ounces. That weight was less then she should have weighed but was a world away from the 8 pound weight just 4 days before. In the end, she never had lost a full two pounds, but I was not producing enough milk and the new feeding schedule seems to be helping tremendously. After a week and a half of nursing Keaton on both sides, supplementing her with a bottle, and then pumping for 10 minutes; I think I am finally producing enough milk to go down to just feeding on both sides and supplementing some times.
In the midst of all the lengthy feedings and tears, one of the best moments I have ever experienced happened. I got down on the floor to play with Keaton in her bouncy seat and for the first time, she unmistakably and purposely lit up in a huge smile at the site of my face. I will never have words to explain what my heart did in that moment. It still makes my day every time I see her little face light up. I will leave you with this video. I am sure you will agree that all the craziness has been worth it.
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